FRIday, FEBRUARY 7, 2003

It ain't journalism, but it's fun

 

I love the New York Post.

In fact, I'm not sure there's a tabloid in this country that's more entertaining than the Rupert Murdoch-owned paper that straphangers everywhere read. Unless you're couting the Weekly World News.

Notice I didn't call the Post a newspaper. While it does technically qualify, I doubt it ranks among the best in the country, although its Sports section is pretty impressive.

No, what I like about the Post is its breezy style, particularly in its headlines.

Everyone who follows journalism is familiar with the classic, "Headless body found in topless bar," but I think the headline writers have been getting even better lately.

How about "Axis of weasel" for France and Germany's statement that they would refuse to back the U.S. in a war with Iraq?

How about "Bone heads" for those New York teens who robbed a graveyard to put together some skeletons for a party?

And how about "skele-teen" in the followup?

The Post has style.

I think it was a Post writer who invented terms like "gal pal" and "boy toy," and if the Post wasn't the first to refer to Britney Spears as a "pop tart," I would be surprised.

It's becoming very apparent that journalism in America isn't what it once was. Or maybe it is. Back in the days of Willie Hearst and Joe Pulitzer, papers battled each other to the wire to get the steamiest, sleaziest news stories.

Even Pulitzer never thought of "skele-teen," though. I want to know who wrote that headline, because he is definitely a god of the copy desk.

My own paper prints the California edition of the Post, so I get to see it every day. I get to read about the skele-teen, the axis of weasel and the secret life of the "Joe Millionaire" finalist -- who went to my college, in fact -- who concealed the fact that she had done dozens of bondage and fetish films.

All I can say is, "We're not worthy."

The Inland Valley Daily Bulletin used to have what we called a "street edition," which took the weirdest story in the paper and gave it a big front page headline. Our best - and worst - one ever came when a mountain lion came out of the foothills and killed and dragged off a family's dog.

Our headline, of course, was "CAT EATS DOG."

Not quite as good as "Axis of Weasel," but we were trying our best.

Let's face it. Most journalists don't respect the tabloids, and when folks think of New York, the first paper that comes to mind is the good gray lady, aka the New York Times.

Once was the time that the Times was America's greatest newspaper, and in some ways it still is. Nobody devotes as much time, money and effort to covering foreign news, science or a myriad of other things.

The only problem is, there really is a bias in the Times. There is a feeling of "we're smarter than you, so you should agree with us" when you read their coverage.

I'll never forget the Times' lead paragraph when President Clinton asked Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders for her resignation.

"Bowing to expected pressure from Republicans, President Clinton today ..."

Say what? Any j-school professor would flunk a student who let that much of his own opinion into the lead. It's anti-Clinton (he's weak) and anti-Republican (they're too moralistic) at the same time, without any facts to back it up.

The Times hasn't particularly distinguished itself in its crusade against Augusta National Golf Club either, killing two columns by its own sports columnists that disagreed with the paper's editorial stance. They ran eventually, but the damage was done.

At least the Post doesn't have any pretensions. Nobody there claims to be a great journalist. They just have fun.

It was the Post that reported Britney Spears' ridiculous comments at the Sundance Film Festival, when she said "Sundance is weird. You actually have to think about the movies while you're watching them."

I don't think the Post was the first to refer to Michael Jackson as "Jacko." The British tabloids came up with that one, but it was the Post on Tuesday that head the headline "Jacko reveals all: His boy pals, His sex fears, His secrets."

Hey, I read that story.

And their "OUCH!" when Leona Helmsley was hit with "$11M 'gay' pay verdict" was another classic that made me proud to be a journalist.

They seem to understand that journalism isn't really about education anymore. They're far more interested in entertaining their readers than educating them, fitting in an age where television news spends five times as much time reporting celebrity scandals than foreign affairs or economic policy.

Yeah, I know. Bor-ing.

Of course, even the greats step over the line once in a while. When the Columbia went down last Saturday, the Los Angeles Times had the subdued headline, "Columbia is lost." The Post had "Death comet."

Even on the second day, their "Meltdown" was just a little over the top.

Occasionally, they seem almost subdued. Thursday's "PROOF: How Saddam hides terror weapons" could have appeared in almost any newspaper in the country. Of course, the bottom of the page had "Druggie driver kills 2 moms and baby in B'klyn crash horror" holding up the paper's good name.

I can hardly wait to see the Post's take on the Second Coming.

Here's my guess:

"HE'S B-A-A-ACK!"