BEST OF THE ORIGINAL WEBSITE

What a long, strange trip it's been

It was February 2000 when I got a telemarketing call from a guy named Adam. He represented a company that I probably shouldn't mention by name, since I don't plan to say anything nice about it.

Adam sold me a proverbial bag of magic beans. Those were the salad days of e-commerce -- my friend Mick and I had sold a novel that was going to be serialized on another Website, and when Adam told me I could make two or three thousand dollars a month getting people to read my columns.

Boy, was I an idiot.

Three months later, when our site went online, Adam was no longer with the company and I was told that almost everything he had promised was something the company couldn't or wouldn't do.

Still, I wrote two full-length columns a week for 42 months, and the ones we have collected here for your enjoyment are some of the best.

The first is one about, as Jimmy Buffett said, "growing older but not up."

Then there's one on the evening I fulfilled a lifelong dream and did a stand-up comedy routine -- my own -- in front of an audience.

The next is my response to what happened in the United States on that horrible day, Sept. 11, 2001.

Next is a column about what my mother has meant to me, through the years from 1949 to the present. Are we really that old?

Back to the subject of Sept. 11, a column reminding people that it was individuals -- not some amorphous mass -- who died in the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington.

In a slightly more humorous vein, a look at Monica Lewinsky's attempt to rehabilitate her image.

And of course, there's the attempt -- God, I hope it's just an attempt -- by President Dubya to seem like a slightly goofy regular guy.

"Fourteen Hours of Pure Ecstasy," but damnit, it had nothing to do with sex.

In April 2001, I wrote about the beginning of another season and my lifelong affair with -- baseball.

And of course, who can forget that day in August 2002, when the Website's former editor -- my lifelong friend Mick Curran -- took control for a column of his own.

In January 2003, I came across a friend I hadn't seen for nearly 40 years. "When the road bends back briefly" is about that.

That same month, I came to understand something very important -- how wonderful life can be if you let go of anger and look at the good side.

I've always loved the New York Post, mostly for its irreverent approach to the news. You should enjoy "It ain't journalism, but it's fun."

Then there's my new hero, Adrien Brody, who shocked the world and made a stand for guys everywhere with Halle Berry at the 2003 Oscars.